The Challenge
Mike (90) and Mary, who is living with dementia, had spent more than 20 years in their high-rise condo and loved their home. Their two children had been urging them to move for some time, but neither Mike nor Mary truly wanted to leave. At the first visit, Mike’s anxiety was clear, and Mary repeatedly asked who we were and why they were moving, always adding that she did not want to go.
They finally agreed to move but insisted that anything that did not fit in the new apartment be put into storage, a path we usually advise against. On top of that, we were working under a tight deadline: their daughter, a teacher in California, wanted to be there on move day, which meant everything had to be done over Labor Day weekend—just two weeks away.
Does this sound like your situation?
The Approach
We began by assuring Mike that he wouldn’t need to worry about any of the logistics. Our team would take care of everything, from finding and coordinating the moving company to organizing donations and junk removal, researching and securing a storage unit, returning the Verizon equipment, carefully packing their current home, and fully unpacking and setting up the new apartment. We also prepared their overnight bags in advance, making sure they had everything they would need for the night before the move.
The first downsizing day was emotionally intense. Mary had always made household decisions, and Mike wanted to defer to her on every item, but her dementia made the process confusing and repetitive. By the second day, we found a better rhythm: Mary was able to make some decisions, and Mike gradually stepped into a more active role. On packing day, while three of us worked in different areas, Mike processed his grief by telling stories—sharing how painful this move felt, even compared to some of the hardest moments of his life. We listened, kept the process steady, and continued preparing for the big reveal on move day.
The Result
On move day, as planned, Mike and Mary spent the day away and arrived at their new apartment around 4 p.m. When they opened the door, everything was ready: beds made, clothing hung and folded, drawers and closets organized, bathroom and kitchen fully set up, computer and TVs connected. It was truly “walk in and live.”
As Mike walked through the space, the tension and sadness he had been carrying began to melt away, replaced by a genuine, relieved smile. Mary was calm and comfortable, recognizing her familiar belongings in a new, safe setting and quickly making herself at home. What had felt like an unbearable loss became a softer, more hopeful transition into their next chapter.
